By Ferry "Sadhonker" Adams on July 6, 2017
Hello dear readers, and welcome to another Big Red Timemachine! This is your very own Big Red Sadhonker speaking. I know some of you were expecting that Dennis would do the honors this week but, alas, he is still missing. After our super-computer, PAL 9001, managed to make him disappear completely from this dimension, I've been frantically trying to discover Dennis' whereabouts. Sadly, I must report that I have been unsuccessful in doing so up to this point in time, which makes me really sad. Yes, I know you're supposed to be sad when one of your friends goes missing, and this is also true, be it in a very, very , VERY minor way. I am mostly sad because, with him gone, I had to start actually doing things around here, which takes up a lot of my precious leisure time!
So you can imagine that I will not rest until I find Dennis, so I can start doing absolutely bugger all once more! But before I continue my search, it is time to take you, guys and girls, on another of our little trips through time and space. So please, strap yourselves in, keep your hands and arms inside the train, and remain seated at all times. Now then, hang on to them hats and glasses, cause this here's the wildest ride in the multiverse! Hmmm, the dials are set, all levers in locked position... yep, we're good to go. Let's set course for 2007!
Oh great, wet feet... What the hell happened?! I was flying just a minute ago, and now I'm floating in the ocean, surrounded by wreckage and flames! Wait, is that a light house? Let's swim to it and get out of this water, before I freeze to death. Just a couple more feet... almost made it... Yay, I'm saved! Let's get inside and see if anyone's around, shall we? Oh, before we do, please let me introduce myself; I am Jack and I'm just a regular guy living in these wonderful 1960's. Now that that's out of the way, let's go in and look for help. I'm sure that everything will be fine...
But alas, everything turns out not to be so fine for poor Jack, as he will soon find out. One could even go so far as to say that there's definitely something rotten in the state of Rapture! Nasty things are about to happen in a city that's located at the bottom of the Atlantic ocean! Impossible, you say? Well, not in this world it isn't! Welcome ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to the world of Bioshock!
Released in August 2007 by 2K Games for the Xbox 360 and Microsoft Windows and a year later for the Playstation 3, Bioshock introduced players around the world to a once beautiful underwater city, filled with splendor, lush decors and... well... killer psychopaths, which are called Splicers in this game! Jack must battle his way through hordes of these Splicers in order to get to the truth about what happened here and, of course, to make his escape. In order to do so, Jack makes use of any weapons he can get his hands on, as well as a series of special powers, called Plasmids.
Rapture was built by a guy called Andrew Ryan, who is a successful business man who amassed a vast fortune through means of various businesses. Ryan had a dream of a utopian society, in which people (mostly rich people) could live in luxury, far away from the toils and hardships of the "real" world. But, as we all know, this kind of society is doomed to fail, simply because of the stupidity of man. The man in question is Frank Fontain, a former Mafia boss and all-round jerk.
Due to technical advancements, made by Ryan's staff, the people of Rapture were able to "enhance" themselves using Plasmids, gaining awesome powers in the process. Now, Fontaine thought it would be a good idea to set up a black market for the material needed to obtain all these powers: Adam. He implanted Adam generating slugs in young orphan girls, called Little Sisters, to create a steady supply of the Adam, which he sold on the black market. As with many drugs, this resulted in quite a lot of trouble and an all-out struggle between Ryan and Fontaine ensued in which Fontaine presumably died, leaving Ryan to take back charge of Rapture. Now, all that remains of this once magnificent city is a run-down shell, filled with bloodthirsty freaks who will not hesitate to kill you on sight. And this is where you come in.
After you end up in Rapture, you are immediately contacted by a man named Atlas, who asks you to join the rebellion in order to bring down Ryan. He guides you safely past a few Splicers and gives you the short-short version of what has happened up till now. The rest of the story is told by audio recordings, strewn throughout the vast city. So off you go, set on bringing Ryan to justice and restoring peace to Rapture once more.
Apart from the array of awesome weapons, Plasmids are the main thing that makes Bioshock's combat as cool and varied as it is. A Plasmid is basically an engineered solution that enables its users to, among other things, shoot flames from their hands, freeze enemies or even electrocute them. Combine this with the aforementioned weapons and you will be able to find the perfect attack to deal with any kind of Splicer... or Big Daddy! Oh yes, apart from Splicers, you will also come across giant, lumbering guys, encased in an equally impressive steel divers suit. These giants have one sole purpose: protecting the little sisters from any attack. So, if you want to harvest Adam from said Little Sisters, or set them free, you will have to battle these Big Daddies, which calls for some hefty usage of Plasmids and bullets on your part, as well as not being riddled by the barrage of lead streaming from the Big Daddy's mini gun or getting impaled by its arm-mounted drill.
In addition to these Plasmids and bullets, you can also collect tonics that can give you a range of passive abilities, ranging from better hacking skills, to extended duration of exposure before security cameras spot you and so on. Also, there are multiple types of ammo to be found or bought at one of the many vending machines you come across on your travels. This allows you to add extra damage to an attack, making your battles with the Splicers quite a bit more manageable. If you get hurt, you can collect health packs that restore some of your health. Similarly, if you run low on fuel for your plasmids, called Eve, you can use Eve hypo's to refill your meter and happily continue to use your favorite power.
Visually, Bioshock looked nothing less than stunning, with lush environments and superb lighting. Even now, although Rapture is pretty run down, the splendor and greatness of this underwater city is still apparent. The characters are crafted with a lot of attention to detail and look awesome. The level design is superb and enables the player to tackle any problem in a number of ways. You can actually lure Splicers in a trap, using one of your many powers or just go flying in, all guns blazing. It really is your choice! The soundtrack and voice acting are of such a high quality, which really helps giving Bioshock that horror movie-feel it abundantly possesses. The control scheme is intuitive and easy to master, making playing Bioshock a exceptionally fun and rewarding experience.
So all in all, I would definitely recommend Bioshock to everyone who loves a good first person shooter game. Its eerie, suspenseful environments and story will keep you on the edge of your seat for many hours. The game really has that haunting quality you are looking for when playing a scary game, but has enough action to satisfy even the most hardened first person shooter fan. Just trust me on this one; Bioshock is nothing less than a masterpiece!
Aaaaand, that's all the time we have for today. Now, if you's excuse me, I must continue my search for my missing coworker. I've exhausted all options I had, so there's only one more thing left I can try. I can actually try to repair PAL's memory banks myself. Now I know I said that was what I was going to do last time, but, taking into account the very real chance of the total destruction of this universe, I thought it wise to walk that particular path as a last resort. Now, it seems, I'm out of options and must do what I've been dreading to do for the past two weeks... which is to get some actual work done! Well, there's nothing for it; I'm going in... wish me luck!
Wait, I think PAL is on to something! All lights are blinking and every display is going haywire. Now, a bright light is emanating from the center of the room and getting gradually brighter. Will somebody please turn that down, I don't have my replica Elvis sunglasses with me! Oh no, there's somebody coming out of the light... I think it... no, it can't be... yes it is! You...*transmission ends with an extremely underwhelming click*