THE END OF AN ERA
By Ferry "Sadhonker" Adams on December 11, 2020
On October 23rd of this year, a terrible occurrence came to pass. The two members of our Big Red Timemachine finally showed their true colors as Sadhonker and CallMeBackdraft transformed into their other selves, Sadhonker Prime and The Mastered Ultra Instinct Super Saiyan God Super Saiyan, respectively. What ensued was a battle of epic proportions which threatened to destroy the known universe completely (just like about everything these two get up to these days)...
This battle has been raging ever since, and it seems that an epic conclusion should be at hand any moment now, or so we are told by our reporter at the scene, Rex "DangerSeeker" Cramer. Join us now, as we go live to the Big Red HQ to witness this battle for the ages. Over to you Rex!
We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties, ladies and gentlemen. We are not able to reach our reporter at this time so... oh wait, I just received an update. It seems that Rex has been caught in the crossfire of the raging battle between Sadhonker and Dennis and has been burnt to a crisp... Oh well, one less mouth to feed at the office Christmas party, I always say! Our technical staff has just sent in the drones to try and get some notion of what is going on in the Big Red HQ. Ah, they have just arrived and are making their entry now.
Oh my, this is a giant mess, if I ever saw one. I've been married for over twenty years, so I should know a thing or two about giant messes. We aren't picking up any signs of life. I don't see how anyone, or anything for that matter, could have survived the total and utter destruction we are witnessing here. Cracked walls, shattered ceilings and one giant, seemingly bottomless hole in the ground are all that remain of this once majestic HQ building. There is no sign whatsoever of our two once brave time-travelers...
This is truly a sad day for us all, ladies and gentlemen. It seems that our two Big Red Timemachine icons have vanished without a trace. After many, many adventures, on which they braved numerous worldly and otherworldly dangers, they seem to have finally found their match... in each other, no less. It is with a heavy heart that this reporter must acknowledge the unthinkable; the Big Red Timemachine is no more! As the smoke clears and the full extent of what could have only been an epic battle, it is time to say goodbye to our two heroes of space and time and try to fill the void they left in a way, befitting of their usual demeanor, which is drinking until we fall over!
I'm sorry to be the one that brings you this sad news, dear readers. If I could change it, I would, but I'm just a mortal man, so there's no way for me to bring back what we lost... Who will take us on trips through the history of gaming and protect us from the evils we encounter while on these trips? How is humanity ever going to get over this tremendous loss? We don't know, ladies and gentlemen... we don't know... But we must persevere! We mustn't just stop living! That isn't what Sadhonker and CallMeBackDraft would have wanted! Did they ever quit anything? Well, actually, they did quite a few times... but that's beside the point! We must be better than we were!
With this, there's nothing for me to do than wish you all the best for the holidays, if that is in all possible after this major catastrophy. So, with the smoking and crumbling remains of the Big Red HQ still burning on my retina, I will say goodbye for now. I wish all of us good luck in overcoming this monumental loss...
May the gods of gaming help us all!
*** OFF THE RECORD ***
Seriously now, folks. This is Ferry "Sadhonker" Adams speaking. This is the end of the Big Red Timemachine as you know it and I would just like to take this opportunity to thank Dennis "CallMeBackdraft" Aspers for the tons of fun and brilliant times we had working on this thing!
Dennis came along at a point in time when I was thinking about quitting the Timemachine altogether and rekindled the flame behind the idea of the contraption. Alas, after a period of four years of fun, games, mayhem and chaos, Dennis decided to call it quits and focus on other things. We wish him all the best in his new ventures and will surely have a few beers in a local bar with him.
So, what will happen to the Big Red Timemachine? Well, that is as of yet unknown, but one can still hope, can they...? First, it's time for me and the rest of the DumeeGamer crew to enjoy some well-deserved holidays. Of course, I wouldn't leave you without wishing you and yours all the best for this season to be jolly and thanking you for reading our zany adventures through time!
So, as a final salute: Dennis, thanks for the fun times and for making things awesome! See you soon at a bar down the road!
THE END OF AN ERA