By Dennis "CallMeBackdraft" Aspers on October 18, 2019
Sadhonker... HELP!!!!!! Dude, come one! You know you are way more skilled then I am at making clear to humans of the female persuasion that you are unable to continue intimate relations with them!!! Sadhonker! Sadhonker?? Oh my god, when you need him he is always gone, but when you don't he is constantly breathing down your neck. Oh well, anyways, I have to get rid of this woman. I mean there is only so much a man can take. When she decides to take a sheep into the bedroom you just have to draw a line, wouldn't you agree?
How can I get away?!? Especially since she informed her mother about the excellent man she met. After seeing her mother in tears of joy, she is even more adamant that our relationship grows into something more permanent. I mean, why else would she be throwing everything but the kitchen sink at me during our time in her little cottage. I think she believes it is time to make a home of our own...
Wait, I've got an idea! Maybe I can use our trip into the past to explore old games to get rid of her... Hm, that could work! I'm going to take her with me and lose her there! Now, she can run like the wind, so I better make sure to choose a fast game... yes; a game with fast cars and everything in it to make them even faster!!! That should get me out of this predicament. Yes, dear readers; this time we will be traveling to the year 1997, and visit a game that started a long running series of high-octane fueled turbo-charged cars. We will be visiting Gran Turismo.
A sim racing game like no other, especially back in the day, Gran Turismo set the stage not only for its own series, which amounted to ultimately 12 games, including this one. But why was it received with such critical acclaim? Well let me explain. While racing games where and still are a big part of gaming history and its future, Gran turismo put itself in the market as a racing simulator, and it added a lot of depth to the genre. Not only where you able to buy better and more expensive cars with the in game currency you received for winning races, you could upgrade each car with a lot of aftermarket parts like turbochargers, better wheels, suspension kits and the like, just so you could get the edge in your upcoming races.
If you didn't want to fight your way up the ranks in simulation mode, the mode in which your earn better driver's licenses during your adventure allowing you to enter higher skilled and thus harder races, you also had the option to race in the Arcade mode, in which your choice of cars and tracks are not limited by your driver's license or your current amount of credits (in game currency), you just have to show your worth during the races to unlock more and more racing tracks.
The selection of cars was not small either, with the game having a total of 140 cars ranging from Honda's to Chevrolet's, so there was actually something for everyone, unless you didn't like cars. But then again; if that was the case, why were you playing a racing game in the first place? The game also featured a total amount of 11 race tracks, 22 if you would count the reversed versions of these tracks. I, for one, believe one should count the reverse tracks, because, somehow, to me the reversed tracks usually add an amount of difficulty.
The development team not only put a lot of effort in the customizing of cars and the 11 tracks they introduced, they also put a lot of work in the realism of the driving physics and the actual performance, sounds and handling of all the different cars. They made them as close as possible to the cars they took from the real world and, especially with 140 cars, that is no easy task. As you lay the game, you will soon realize that a Mitsubishi has a completely different drivetrain then a Subaru, Chrysler or a Toyota and they sound completely different too. Gran Turismo did just that and did it perfectly, so points for the developers for a job well done! On that note, my job here is also done. I don't see my "future wife" around anymore, so I think it is safe for me to put the Timemachine back into gear again and return home.
Ah, sweet tranquility! No more sheep, no shepherd's cane.... Hmmm, but what is that most excellent smell? Oh hey, Sadhonker! What are you up to? You're cooking? Cool, I'm starving! But what, pray tell, are you cooking ? Mutton... Hahaha, well since there are no sheep left, you'll be pleased to hear that I also got rid of that annoying shepherdess. What? Why? Where? Who? What do you mean she isn't gone? You did WHAT ??!?!?!?! You got her back?! AND MARRIED HER?!?!?! You know Sadhonker, sometimes I just don't get you. Well, in any case, good luck with being married to her... and no, you don't get to go on a honeymoon with this one, you've got work to do. Well, dear readers, this once again concludes another episode of our Big Red Timemachine. For now, I bid you all a fond farewell. We'll see each other again in two weeks, when the happy groom will take you on a brand new adventure in the land of gaming!
Polys Entertainment & Cyberhead & Sony