By Dennis "CallMeBackdraft" Aspers on December 16, 2016
Unfortunate news, ladies and gentlemen. It is with a heavy heart that we have to report that there still has been no sign of the Big Red Timemachine, and its occupants: Dennis "CallMeBackdraft" Aspers and Ferry "Sadhonker" Adams. Our technical staff has been working around the clock for these past two weeks to restore even the most simple form of contact. We have since learned that smoke signals don't do a whole lot.
What we did find, however, is a pre-recorded message that seems to have been left on purpose by Mr. Aspers. What follows is a transcription of this message:
If you are receiving this, some of my worst fears might have just have come to pass. I prerecorded this message due to the ever more building tension in our beautiful Big Red Timemachine Headquarters which, at this point, I don't even know is still in existence.
However, I am adamant to not let my faithful readers down and to my last breath I will give it my all to take all of you guys on the most grandest of adventures. Since our last meeting, I made sure no more door destroying interruptions can be made due to a new and nearly indestructible element I have created called Awesominium. The first thing I constructed out of this material is an indestructible door! And believe me, his "highness" is really trying to barge in here and disturb my work. Speaking of work, let's get on with it because I don't know how much time I have left. Today, I will be taking the Timemachine back to a place where time was also of the essence, namely the arcades in 1995. Not only was play time limited because of the other players that wanted a go, but also due to the fact that the game we are going to visit was based on the premise that only limited time was available to undo yourself from your adversaries. The name of the game I am talking about is quite fitting in the current climate here at our head office, namely Time Crisis.
As stated, Time Crisis was originally released in 1995 as a First Person, on rails, light gun shooter in and was distributed to arcades across the world. Just a couple of short years later (1997), it was rereleased on the original Playstation. And although this version of the game didn't use the light gun peripheral, all other gameplay elements were kept the same. For those of you unaware of what a Light Gun is; no, it is not a cheap knockoff Star Wars gun. A light gun is a physical gun the player would use to aim at the enemies on the display and when you had taken aim you just squeezed the trigger and help your enemies make their way to an early grave.
The plot of Time Crisis was as follows: in 1995, an international protection agency, called V.S.S.E. , helps Sercian opposition leader William McPhearson engineer a coup that overthrows a century-old authoritarian regime. Shortly afterwards, McPhearson is elected as the Sercian republic's first president. However, Sherudo Garo, the last survivor of the regime, plots to restore the old order, launching a series of attacks and assassinations that quickly destabilize the nation. As the finishing touch, Sherudo has McPhearson's daughter Rachel abducted and imprisoned in his family's castle on a remote island. Who else is better suited to take care of Sherudo Garo and save the damsel in distress than V.S.S.E.'s very own Richard Miller a.k.a. The "One Man Army".
During the battles, you only had a matter of seconds to get rid of all of the henchmen that get thrown at you, making sure you reload your weapon on time and take cover from the bullet hell that some of the enemies unleash upon you. After the enemies forces in the area you are currently in are depleted, the game will move you to the next area, where the same basic game mechanic repeats itself and another truckload of henchmen has to be shown who is boss. Speaking about bosses, after a certain number of areas have been cleared, you will come to face an even bigger challenge in the form of a boss. Each one of these big bad bastards even bigger, better and/or faster than the last one. Keeping up with the name of the game the challenge not only lies with the infinite amount of bullets, knives and rockets they will fire upon your face; the limited time will always have to be on your mind because beating your opponents is not only a matter of depleting their health. It's a matter of depleting their health as fast as humanly possible to be left with enough time for the rest of the areas that exist in that particular level.
Well, another trip back in time has been successfully completed. Now, before sending you guys off, I first have to check that everything in our sweet headquarters is still in its rightful place. Let's open the doors and see what's what Mister Sadhonker is shouting my name for... ooops, I almost forgot; let's make sure I take my security measures with me!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Don't get your panties in a twist!
OOOH HERE WE GO, IT'S ON NOW!! I have you by the...
Bring it on sucker...
**-- Message ends in static noise --**
Our scientists tell us that the situation is slipping and that the chances of establishing any form of contact are growing less likely by the nanosecond. The staff is unsure of what exactly happened on that faithful day, two weeks ago and what the results of this seemingly cataclysmic event will be. They can be sure of one thing, however: The worst is yet to come!
We, here at DumeeGamer.com, would once again like to express our deepest condolences to everyone who might perish in unspeakable agony or lose all of their loved ones as a result of the potential destruction of the known universe that both Mr. Aspers and Mr. Adams will be held accountable for upon their return... unless the universe is really destroyed, than we don't see the point in punishing them any further.
Namco / Nex Entertainment